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Love Class 101

By: Maricel Rivera

An autodidactic, successful business tycoon finds himself in a very odd situation. He’s checking and editing papers. He sometimes closes his eyes to visualise what he reads. The outputs he is reading catch him to deep thinking that somehow there are ten mature rational animals who came and confessed these absurdities.

“These fancies are all created by limitless thoughts of human brain. This stupid hypothalamus gland which controls the feeling of hunger, thirst, pain, anger, joy, the major concern of them – love, and etc. leads them to enrol in my class.”

He chuckles. He reminisces. He relates. Despite all the silliness from them he still continues to create the course outline in LM 101: “Love Management”. He never imagined himself getting involved in this kind of damn business.

“I remembered how accustomed I was to be a plastic surgeon when I was young. But everything turned out in vain.”

He gawps at the hour glass placed on top of the wooden c-shaped furniture located at the left side of his office. He starts scribbling on his personalised notebook. From what he read, he found out how idealistic and unlucky his students are.

Martina, the self-proclaimed hopeless romantic in his class, revealed in her paper how controlling she was in her previous relationship. “You need to send me messages every now and then. Aside from that, I want us to have endearment and celebrate monthsaries and anniversaries together. You and I are the centre of this relationship. We must not listen to the criticisms we’ve heard from people insignificant to us.”

“Why did she do that? No guy could bear a very controlling woman. She was ridiculous.”

He slouches on his swivel chair and tries to deduce on Martina’s experience and personality. This is a part of his role.

Next is Paolo, the “I give you my all” type of lover, who explained how painful it was for him when his Brazilian girlfriend cheated on him. He almost committed suicide because of depression. He was like a living dead for couple of months. Recovery wasn’t easy for him.

“Yesterday, I explained how tectonic the effect of love is to people who do not retain something for themselves. Who invest all they have. During separation you’ll end up having zero balance and yes, it takes a while to earn points for yourself again.”

He crosses his legs and flips the next leaf of his personalised notebook. He sniffs as his right hand takes the bottommost paper from the files on the left side of his broken heart shaped wooden table. Before he proceeds, he gets the air freshener from the drawer and sprays it in the room.

“Well, let’s consider this frosh. He is John. He is an OC. He had a live-in partner for three years but they parted ways after. His ex-girlfriend couldn’t take his abnormal obsession to cleanliness. Even if all the furniture were already wiped, he would still clean it and here’s more all the things in the apartment from the very minute to human sized all of which were placed with proper distance. The worst thing? The bathroom should be kept dry even after taking a bath.”

He cackles and continues. “I want you to look at the painting hanged on the wall. It is one of the finest paintings in the world. It is done with passion and love. The artist finished this paint for a year. Like this lad, Fred, he is a painter. He loves his craft very much. His last romantic relationship lasted for two years. When he decided to join in exhibits he could hardly find time to set a date for his girlfriend. He spent all day in his studio. He lost time for his woman. There’s no time for them to be together and they finally concluded the two years of togetherness just last month. His ex is already married to somebody else.”

He gazes at the topmost paper in the file. He sighs. Silence. It takes a while before his voice is heard again.

“Here I am trying to understand you. I want this relationship to last long. But you’re a malcontent husband. You still seek for more. Surely, I’m not enough for you and you don’t respect me. I had enough of your lies.” reads he.

Samera, a woman in her early thirties who’s a newly divorced to her husband for eight years wrote all her sorrows and anguish. She didn’t feel her significant other when they were still married. She was really in great depression.

“This dialogue proves how miserable her life was. She wrote a post script in the end of her assignment saying that she wants to be smart in this subject. Well, I hope she will become one after taking this class.”

He touches his wrinkled forehead. A glint of sadness is reflected in his expression. He scratches his head and slowly crumples the paper of Samera. A little clatter is heard in the room. Silence overpowers inside. He slouches on his swivel chair again but this time he closes his eyes. He’s in that position for an hour.

“Is he pretending to be asleep? Or is he really asleep? I know how difficult this kind of job is. Perhaps, he absorbs all the heartaches and frustrations of his students.”

After an hour, he slowly opens his eyes and gets his Pilot pen. He writes something on his notebook.

“Five out of ten…”

The last five students are still minors. Mina and Laura are both sixteen years old who are NBSB “No boyfriend since birth”. They are fearful to entertain suitors. They take this class to prepare themselves on the possibilities about them engaging in romantic relationship. They said prevention is better than cure.

“What do you think? Are they logical? They decided to enrol to be ready in their future love affairs. The ball is in your court.”

He takes his eyeglasses. He moans in desperation. He massages his forehead to ease the pain.

“Well, here’s something funny. Roy and Erika are 15 years old. They were lovers before but decided to split up after two months. They said they did not pass the compatibility test. Both of them proclaimed that they are NGSB and NBSB “No girlfriend/boyfriend since breakup”.

He laughs too hard. It’s like a thunder with rhythm.

“Here’s something ironic. Her name is Amy. She wrote here all the happy moments with her husband. They never had misunderstanding because her husband is very submissive. There were no fights. She vividly described how boring her married life is. She’s still living with her husband. She wants to learn the proper love management. She doesn’t like their no-challenge wife-husband relationship.”

He pens the course outline in his personalised notebook.

Love University
East Red Bridge Road
Kansas City, MO
Course Outline in LM 101: Love Management

Units: 6

Pre-requisites: None

Professor: Dr. Alexes

At the end of the course, students must be able to:

1. Define what love is.

2. Differentiate true love from infatuation.

3. Share their experiences in romantic relationship.

4. Delineate the importance of love management in a relationship.

5. Apply the principles and theories learned in their real-life.

6. Create the ideal relationship for them.

Unit I. Introduction to Lovelogy - 3 weeks

a. Definition of Love

b. The Study of Love – Lovelogy

c. True Love VS. Infatuation

Unit II. Real Love Stories - 4 weeks

a. Asia

b. Europe

c. North and South America

d. Africa

e. Australia

Unit III. Love Management - 6 weeks

a. What is love management?

b. Love Stakeholders

c. Principles in Love Management

d. How to apply love management in real-life?

Unit IV. Creation of Properly Managed Relationship - 10 weeks

Course Requirements:


Reflective Essay

Home Assessment (Professor visits the student abode and observes his relationship with parents, siblings, or partners)

One-on-One Interview

“I hope this works to them.”

“Professor Alexes?”

“I want my students to internalise the importance of love management. As a businessman I succeeded but as a lover, husband and father I failed. The last fifteen years I was too engrossed to study business on my own. I knew I could never be a plastic surgeon so; I wanted to prove that I could be a business tycoon. About how did I arrive here, that will always remain history. Somehow, Samera Alexes knows everything.”

story, 15-07-17 09:06, 15-07-21 18:43, Marz

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